Aren’t we all just a teensy bit tired of Gen Zs posting perfect images of their sourdough on Insta! Looks gorgeous, admittedly, but most likely has the same texture as a brick left lying in the Saharan sun. Therefore, forget the latest baking fads because good ole Sam is the man when it comes to a golden, thin crust on the perfect bake. It’s called Go-Dough and it’s, quite frankly, the convenience product of the new century.

Need help in the kitchen? You might be mouthing the words – Not I – but just hold with us for a second…

Have you ever stood in your kitchen in the middle of an existential crisis – all out of eggs, baking soda, and the will to live? Up to your diddies in problems. Trust us, we know the feeling. That’s why we have put an old recipe of Sam’s into mass production. Just add water, stir and bake – Happy Days. One phrase you will never hear is – “I’m waiting for Go-Dough.” This bread bakes within 10 minutes even in the bog-standard oven of a semi-suicidal, pill-popping, wine guzzling housewife or househusband. The end product is also a success, no confusing plot lines here.

Although better known for his rather sketchy forays into the world of highbrow literature, Beckett also turned his hand to various other things. When living in Paris, he tested anti-wrinkle creams for Lancôme, fought the Nazis, and became an avid baker. There was no time for slapstick tomfoolery in this man’s life. No siree, a French cigarette in one hand and a glass of red wine in the other while the bread baked at record speed.

Who’s that at the door? Did he say his name is Klaus, with the gazpacho!? Just a moment … (window exit).

Go-Dough is for the modern urbanite who doesn’t have 2 hours to waste fannying around the kitchen, sporadically peeping through a clear-glass oven door for signs of a baking erection. Forget that krapp, you don’t need to read your horoscope to know that this is the ideal product for your carb-filled future.

Purchase a batch of Sam’s Go-Dough today, and get baking.

Terms and Conditions, _{and a minor warning}.

Many of our customers seem to enjoy baking while semi-baked themselves – we frown on this behaviour and cannot guarantee the product will endure excessively ponderous kneading.

We do not condone a diet of white bread, vin rouge and cigarettes, but it’s also unlikely to kill you in the short term.

We have put Go-Dough through the extremes of chemical analysis – yet it’s still a total mystery to us. Enjoy!

© K. Bythesea 2025.