Joan Crawford Brows

Lucille Fay LeSeur, better known as Joan Crawford, was one of Hollywood’s most enduring stars. Her career as a headliner spanned some 50 years. Fuelled on just neat Vodka, the occasional Pepsi Cola, and industrial strength makeup, this woman conquered the entertainment world.

J.C. Brows isn’t just a fancy name, it’s a full-scale beauty kit. No, we didn’t get the name from a postal competition, seriously. Like Ms. Crawford herself, we believe in the unvarnished truth. Your face can also be your canvas. Create the true you!

A stronger, longer, more defined brow is like a superpower. Those normally obstreperous kids will fall into a silent trance, baristas will remember orders and spell impeccably, and your mother-in-law will back away, slowly. Consider J.C. Brows as an alternative to self-help gurus and empowerment mantras. As Gandhi once said – “real validation comes from the outside.”

Don’t be a Meg Ryan type follower – “I’ll have what she’s having.” Instead, be a Joan Crawford – “This ain’t my first time at the rodeo!”

Order now! – don’t intellectualize or chat with friends.

Terms & Conditions _{& warnings}

Use the product wisely. Remember, Ms. Crawford’s movie career eventually went from Strait-Jacket to Berserk.

We honestly advise keeping away from small children when donning a “full Joan” brow.

Women under 35 may wish to consider the more age-appropriate Delevingne collection instead of the Crawford.

To avoid psychological trauma, we ask gender transitioners (MTF) to avoid using this product. In contrast, FTMs may find ultra strong brows an asset.

© K. Bythesea 2025.